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Even If It Kills Me

by Motion City Soundtrack

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03:01
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03:16
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credits

released September 18, 2007

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Track Name: Fell In Love Without You
Last night I fell in love without you.
I waved goodbye to that heart of mine
Beating solo on your lawn

Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love
We used to call it love

Last night I fell in love without you
The coup-de-grace that set me off
Would've made for decent fiction

Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love
We used to call it...

Last night I fell in love without you
The stars at night aren't as big and bright
As you make them out to be

And every aching wound will cauterize and bruise
In memory of what we used to call in love
And only time will tell if violins will swell
In memory of what we used to call in love
In memory of when we used to call it love
Track Name: This Is For Real
I've got emotion
Dripping out my pores and I
Thought I would let you know
You are the night light,
Ripping through my wicked world
How you make it sparkle and glow,
Before I lose control
There's just one thing you should know

This is for real, this time I mean it
I'm coming clean, please don't let go
I said from the start, that you could take it or leave it
I'd prefer that you keep it
Don't let go
Don't let go
Don't let go

I had some nightmares,
Clawing at my skin and bones
I nearly did explode
You smoked the demons
Gave me back my feelings
Now I am good to go
Before, my face hits the floor
There's just one thing you should know

This is for real, this time I mean it
I'm coming clean, please don't let go
I said from the start, that you could take it or leave it
I'd prefer that you keep it
Don't let go

This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
This is the best thing that I've ever had for real

For a physical challenge I'm notoriously bored
Intravenous delivery, electrolytes and more
Everytime it's the same routine
Out with the bad, in with the clean
Before I lose all motor skills
There's one thing you should know

This is for real, this time I mean it
I'm coming clean, please don't let go
I said from the start, that you could take it or leave it
I'd prefer that you keep it
Don't let go

This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
This is the best thing that I've ever had for real

This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
This is the best thing that I've ever had for real
Track Name: It Had To Be You
I'll get lost, messed up and bored when I'm alone too long
I can't sleep, function or eat when I'm not with someone
Late last fall, she ended it all and moved to who-knows-where
Just like that, she vanished and packed and never even called

Do you feel a certain sense of synergy between yourself and me?
A kind of macabre and somber Wondertwin type of harmony
What if it was you?
You that I needed all along
I felt like a fool,
Kicking and screaming and pretending we were wrong

Let's get wrecked on pop tarts and sex and see the Taj Mahal
Let's save birds from Prince William Sound and skateboard through the mall
Let's fight crime with mangoes and limes and join the PGA
Let's win big with every spin but hurry, I can't wait

Do you spend a fortune on those late night prepaid television scams
In search of the perfect blender, steak knife and non-stick frying pan?
What if it was you?
You that I needed all along
I felt like a fool
Thinking we were completely wrong
It seemed like a dream
A beautiful scream
That echoed forever
And made us not afraid to feel a thing

And after it ends
We'll try to be friends
They say that what doesn't kill us makes us who we are

All this time and everything's changed but I still feel the same
All good things eventually end and get washed down the drain
What a disaster it would be if you discovered that I cared
A little too much for friends but not enough to share

What if it was you?
You that I needed all along
I felt like a fool
Now that I'm sure that I was wrong
It had to be you.
It had to be you.
It had to be you.
I knew it was you.
Track Name: Last Night
I'm still frustrated from last night
Things happened in half-time, I'm sick of the bends
My panic research was no help
I sink into myself
Afraid of the fall that never ends
I wait, but I'm too tired to play pretend
I'll suffocate until the end

No time for halfhearted goodbyes,
I turn on the spotlight and flee from the scene
Cheap flights from Paris to Bangkok, I thought it was nonstop
Can't sleep on the KLM again
I haunt the halls of medicine at night
Choking back the urge to fight

Her cat was clawing the floorboards just outside of our door,
The panic begins
I searched the whole damn apartment from ceiling to carpet
No sign of the things she used to own
As autumn turns its back on me again
I climb the walls for oxygen

My body aches, it heaves, it shakes
All somersaults through so-called art
And I still don't know exactly who I am
I never will, amen.

She whispers something in my ear, the message is unclear
She motions outside.
I trail her closely from behind
She tries hard not to cry
She shakes underneath the pouring rain

"I can't compete with all your damn ideas
This isn't working out for you or me
The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend
This is goodbye, this is the end."
Track Name: Calling All Cops
Calling all cops and autobots,
I hope that you’re still there
Saving victims from the wreckage
Of our wild affairs, such wild affairs.

Copy all cats and acrobats,
I know you don’t play fair,
Slinging sickness through the atmosphere,
Without a care, without a care.

Drowning all dolls in concert halls,
The curtain hits the cast,
They parade like perfect ponies,
But it never lasts, it never lasts.

Sever all ties to satellites
That broadcast worthless words
You're extrapolating nonsense
And it really hurts, it really hurts.

When I’m awake,
I make the same mistakes they make.
When I’m awake,
I can’t escape.

When I’m awake,
I make the same mistakes they make.
And everything just falls apart.

Calling all cops and autobots,
I hope that you’re still there,
Saving victims from the wreckage,
Of our wild affairs, such wild affairs.

Suffer all teens on dramamine,
The coast is not yet clear,
Every continent has chaos,
And we need you here, we need you here.

When I’m awake,
I make the same mistakes they make.
When I’m awake,
I can’t escape.

When I’m awake,
I make the same mistakes they make.
And everything just falls apart.

(Calling all cops and autobots)
And everything just falls apart,
(Calling all cops and autobots)
And everything just falls apart.
And everything just falls apart.
Track Name: Can't Finish What You Started
Why can't you finish what you've started?
Why can't you try and understand?
It doesn't make a bit of difference if you start what you can't finish
Every story needs an ending, after all.

I think I've known it for a long time
Suffice to say, it's been a while
You're too afraid to face the outcome
Quite likely, you're a failure
It's a shitty thing to say, but hey man - the clock is ticking

I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I start

What fills the magic in the meantime?
I know it’s hard without a vice,
You need to find a new solution,
Adaptation or retribution,
If you truly do believe in something,
Somehow it all works out.

I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I start

I'm completely bored
With every single word
And nothing ever works
And this juvenile search
Is systematically revealing to me
That I need a new approach

I thought of all the things I'd like to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
Why I'll never finish anything I...

So sick of all the things I'm trying to say
Cramped up and couldn't write a word all day
I just waited for my world to fall apart
That's why I'll never finish anything I...
Track Name: The Conversation
Do you remember how we met?
Silhouetted by the lights...
You were drunk and tried to take a mental picture with your hands
I was thinking about that
And a bunch of other things
Stop looking at the floor...
I need to pour out this expansive dose of words.

I can't explain...
I need to be alone.

I know the timing isn't great
But these things, you just can't plan.
I just need a little time
So I can find myself again
'Cause I get buried underneath
All the things they think you are
And I'm too tired to pretend it doesn't hurt
To be left out

I had a pocket full of dreams
But I gave them all to you
Now I think I want them back
So can you tell me if I'm crazy or confused?
Don't ever change
The way you are
I've never loved anyone more.
Track Name: Broken Heart
I’ll start this broken heart
I’ll fix it up so it will work again
Better than before
Then I’ll star in a mystery
A tragic tale of all that’s yet to come
Fingers crossed there will be love

But I get carried away with every day
And every fantasy
The deeper the wound,
The harder I swoon and wish that that was me
There's so much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I’m getting used to it
You have to get used to it

I’ll devise the best disguise
A brand new look and take them by surprise
They’ll never guess what’s not inside
I’ll express myself with ease,
With confidence and character complete
With fingers crossed, they’ll talk to me

But I get carried away with every page
In every magazine
The cheaper the thrill,
the deeper I fill my head with blasphemy
There's so much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I’m getting used to it
You have to get used to it

I’ll destroy this useless heart
I’ll fuck it up so it’ll never beat again
Not just for me but for anyone

But I get carried away
With every phrase and made up malady
The longer I hide behind these lies,
The more I disintegrate
There's so much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
You never get used to it
You just have to live with it
Track Name: Hello Helicopter
Hello helicopter, are you here to stay?
Bodies, rest and motion fighting night and day
Well it's kill or be killed
And one day we'll get the best of them
Hello helicopter, will you be my friend?
Will you take me away?

Hello helicopter,have you heard the news?
No one gives a shit about the things they do
We all waste and consume, destroy and ruin everything we touch
It's easy not to think when you're not told that much

I'm not saying anything you haven't heard before
I'm just trying to understand the way we are

Hello helicopter, are you lost out there?
Swimming through the garbage dump that fills the air
In several more years no one will care
They'll be rich and dead
So let somebody else devise a cure for it

I'm not saying anything you haven't heard before
I'm just trying to understand the way we are

Nobody seems to care
Nobody ever learns
Hello helicopter, are you here to stay?
Bodies, rest and motion fighting night and day
Well it's kill or be killed
And one day we'll get the best of them
Hello helicopter, are you listening?

Nobody seems to care
Nobody ever learns

Are we ever going to get it right?
Are we ever going to start making sense
And stop pretending that we care?

Are we ever going to get it right?
Are we ever going to start making sense
And stop pretending that we care?

Are we ever going to get it right?
Are we ever going to start making sense
And stop pretending...

Hello helicopter, are you here to stay?
Bodies, rest and motion fighting night and day
Well it's kill or be killed
And one day we'll get the best of them
Hello helicopter, are you listening?
Track Name: Where I Belong
Hello there, how you doin'?
I've got all these thoughts just floating through my brain
They bump and they collide and cause a flurry of confusion
And it's getting on my nerves
I try to hold myself together
fighting off this mental weather when I can (sometimes I do)
But this shitstorm's never ending
And the atmospheric pressure's calling for rain

This is what I've got going on
This is where I belong tonight

It's chaos in the courthouse
And the left side's all upset
Because the right side wants a summer home
and knows we can't afford it
I try to mediate between
This constant tug-o-war machine
But wind up in a never ending game of telephone
There's so much going on
And I just need seven minutes to calm myself back down
Now I forgot where I was
Was it me we were talking about?
This is what I feared from the start
I keep falling apart

What's going on, is this where I belong tonight?
(What's going on tonight)
What's going on, is this where I belong tonight?
(What's going on)

(Can't stand) I can't stand the thought of losing
Sentences and every island of words
(Can't stand) I can't stand the thought of losing
Everything I ever thought I that I knew

This is where I run out of words
That describe how I'm so damn hurt
This is where I fumble and fold
And take what I'm told

What's going on, is this where I belong tonight?
(What's going on tonight)
What's going on, is this where I belong tonight?
(What's going on tonight)
What's going on, is this where I belong tonight?
(What's going on tonight)
What's going on, is this where I belong tonight?
(What's going on)

(Can't stand) I can't stand the thought of losing
Sentences and every island of words
(Can't stand) I can't stand the thought of losing
Everything I ever thought I that I knew
Track Name: Point Of Extinction
Are you listening, Javelina?
Every corner of the coast is still clear
All dressed up with some medicine for luck
How I hope that you're still here when I return

Burning bridges is a form of suicide
I saw the fires as the ghost of my life
Passed me by and there's nowhere you can hide
From the lessons or the lies that bind them

I'm so tired
I've had enough
If there's one thing I've learned
You'll always get burned
But you'll never give it up

Can we count on our conversations
to restore us like energon cubes
Made one wish for a permanent kiss
That would echo through these bones like arsenic
I can figure out the point of anything
Just not as quick as I can mess up my life
With all my dreams hooked to hospital machines
I think, "let's try redefining beautiful."

I'm so tired
I've had enough
If there's one thing I've learned
You'll always get burned
But you'll never give it up

This is the best that it will get
(Yeah yeah yeah, give it up, give it up)
This is the best that it will get
(Yeah yeah yeah, give it up)

I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of anything
I can figure out the point of it

I'm so tired
I've had enough
If there's one thing I've learned
You'll always get burned
But you'll never give it up

I'm so tired
I've had enough
If there's one thing I've learned
You'll always get burned
But you'll never give it up
Track Name: Antonia
She makes a lot of abstract art
She haggles for the cheapest price
She never orders take out food before ten o'clock at night
She's really into snowmobiles
She owns a lot of nice flashlights
She cares for all the stupid cats that never found their way home
She shaves her legs with Ginsu knives
She quotes a lot of Annie Hall
She misplaced her virginity back in 1995
She's what's keeping me alive
She's the pizza of my eye
Without her near me I would not survive

It gets cold when she's not around
I float until I sink and I'm swallowed up
It's so cold when she's not around
I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine

She's always eating Captain Crunch
She sings a lot of Ben Folds Five
She's scared to death of cobra snakes
Just like Indiana Jones
She tells the dumbest knock-knock jokes
She drinks a lot of Chardonnay
She hates the way I comb my hair
But she married me last June
She was the bride, I was the groom
I cried a lot and then we spooned
Without her in my life I would be doomed

It gets cold when she's not around
I float until I sink and I'm swallowed up
It's so cold when she's not around
I wait for her to come home and tell me I'll be fine
Tell me I'll be fine

She loves the smell of Christmas trees
She sneezes when she sees bright lights
She fainted on the kitchen floor
When her father passed away
Our baby girl is due this May
And when the little lady grows up
I hope that she will be just like her mother
Track Name: Even If It Kills Me
I’ve got a lotta things to do tonight
I’m so sick of making lists
Of things I’ll never finish
I’ve lived here for the last 12 years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
But if I had a little more time to kill
I’d settle every little stupid thing
Yeah you’d think that I would

But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way

I wonder if I’ll ever lose my mind
I tried hard for awhile
But then I kinda gave up
Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
"I’m really not as stubborn as I seem,"
Said the knuckle to the concrete

But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way

I’m not saying that I’m giving up
I’m just trying not to think as much as I used to
Cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe I’ll get it right some day
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I’m learning to open my eyes
And the sad truth of the matter is
I’ll never get over it
But I’m gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

I so want to get back on track
And I’ll do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me